Loving Hatred
by CrystalOcean7
Summary: Hidan and Kakuzu are fourced to see psychiatrist under Pein's orders. Fluff


"Now, explain to me why you felt a need to come here today."

The zombie duo sat in a white room covered in pictures and diplomas. The two were separated by green cushioned chairs; and sitting behind a desk before them was small man. His smile was fake, along with the kindness he showed towards Hidan and Kakuzu.

"You tell me, your the one charging an arm and a leg to do nothing for an entire hour." Kakuzu said, having no remorse in showing the anger in his voice.

The man in the chair before them nodded his head, having heard this times before from his other clients.

"Would you like to tell me why you choose to receive counseling?" The counselor before them said as he twiddled a pen between his fingers.

"As if the bastard would spend money on us of his free will. Our Leader was the one who gave him the order to go to a fucking psychiatrist. Our fighting got so bad, everyone in the house has complained and a few neighbors threatened to call the police. I say, let the Jashin damned bastards try. I'll sacrifice there asses!"

Hidan twitched uncomfortable in this chair, finding it hard to make himself comfortable. He'd always hated psychiatrists. Their offices were always so clean and boring.

"Hidan, shut up."

"So am I to understand you two are lovers?" The counselor nervously said, looking back and forth between the Akatsuki members.

"Unfortunately." Kakuzu gave a sigh.

"What is it that brought you together?"

"Hot sex." Hidan snickered.

"Is that the only thing?"

Kakuzu looked at Hidan, then back to the man in front of him. "I hate Hidan. I hate spending time with him, and I hate the fact I ever met him."

Hidan raised an eyebrow and gave a amused expression. "That's not what you said last night."

Kakuzu glare turned deadly.

"You think I meant those words?"

"Honestly no, but I don't fucking care. If the sex is good, life is good."

"Your an idiot."

"Really, cause I could say the same thing for you."

"I'll kill you."

"That would make you happy wouldn't it, cheap bastard?!"

"Yes! Honest to your hypocritical god, it would."

Silence.

The counselor gave a sigh, rubbing his temples. "Okay, why don't we try the pro and cons of your relationship. I'll have you write the things you like about the other.". The man pulled a notebook out of one of his top desk drawers. Riping two sheets from the notebook, the man handed a signal sheet to either of the immortal duo. "Write truthfully. The other won't see what you write."

Kakuzu and Hidan reached for a pen from the cup on the consulars desk and began writing.

After ten minutes, the counselor took the sheets. "Now I'll read what both of you read."

"The fuck? You lying bastard, you said he wouldn't see it!" Hidan clenched his fist, giving the counselor the most angry, threatening look he could.

The counselor smiled nervously. "And you both won't 'see' what the other wrote, you will listen. Let's read Hidan's first...". The man looked down at the list and frowned. The jashinist hand writing was nearly impossible to read. It reminded him of five year olds he'd tried to get to write with him, only in the end he'd let them drawl their thoughts instead.

Deciding there was no other option, the counselor desperately did his best to understand Hidan's scribbled writing. "Reason number one, 'Kakuzu knows how to hurt me in all the right places.'. Reason number two, 'I love the thing he does with the tentacles.' Three, 'He has a nice ass.'. Next, 'When he holds me close and says he loves me-'"

"How did that get in there!?" Hidan objected, his face blushing bright red.

"As I was saying... the list goes on to say, 'Kakuzu is the only one who understands me'. After that, the rest is... hard to read. Kakuzu, we will read your list next."

The banker sat in silent object, but silent none the less.

"Hmmm... yours is more like a paragraph then a actual list. I'll read it all the same though. 'Hidan is whiny, but he keeps me company. He follows his own believes and isn't pressured to follow the mold the plastic world around does. He is strong, money or not. His eyes are beautiful and he has a cute smile. If anything ever happened to Hidan, I'd lose apart of myself. I hate him and I love him.'"

Kakuzu stood to leave. He was soon followed by the zealot who held a confused expression. "You actually love me Kakuzu? But-... I don't understand."

The banker turned to face his lover, removing his mask to kiss the jashinist on the lips. "You rarely do." he said as he hugged the smaller male to him.

"Thanks a lot, asshole." Hidan replied in a smirk.

The counselor stood from his spot. "Excuse me... I don't mean to spoil the mood, but you have a cheek to pay. You can pay here at the front desk or-" the counselor soon found himself entangled in tentacles.

"Aww, and I wanted to sacrifice him." Hidan said, giving a poutful face.

"Fine, but don't make a mess."

"Thank you..."

"It's not a real problem. His heart isn't even worth eating. And Hidan?.."

"Yeah?"

"I do love you, even if I don't admit it."

"I know."

"And... do you really like my ass?"

"Don't ruin the mood bastard."


End file.
